Broken Dreams
by Lazy.Elegance
Summary: [AU] Fran's depressed, suicidal, tired and only wants to sleep. He's caught cutting his wrists, and swallowing painkillers while drinking a bottle of alcohol by Belphegor. Bel feels a little strange about the whole event even though he grew up loving blood and torture. He can't help but feel insecure and helpless while Fran is suffering. - B26
1. Chapter 1

_I'm walking down the line_

_That divides me somewhere in my mind_

_On the border line of the edge_

_And where I walk alone_

_ Green Day - Boulevard of Broken Dreams._

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_"You know what. Fuck you!"_

It's been an hour and I'm on my bathroom floor with tears streaking down my face, wearing shorts and a simple navy t-shirt. My arms feel numb and it's running up my cold shoulders, through my chest and back down to my toes, it already reached the top of my head and numbed out any rational solution of getting myself out of this.

What's the point? It's not like I have anyone to care for me, it's not like I want anyone to run through that door and stop me from sleeping the next few weeks away. I look down at the bottle of pills lying on the floor, I grab it slowly and uncap it.

I was outside... Yes, outside with the other humans. Strolling down a hot summer day by myself until I found the one person whom I wanted to see all day. Only to feel my heart ache, and tighten as if someone were strangely it in their hands. I wanted to cry so badly, but I knew better not to just suddenly break down. Showing my feelings.. It's a weak emotion.

I breathed in and breathed out, then I clenched my teeth together and continued on my way. All I could remember was his messy blond hair with his stupid tiara, his arm slung around a purple haired girl while he watched a few guys skateboard along the street.

Opening my eyes at that simple memory made my heart speed up. Hitting pile of sharp nails and stabbing it over and over. I'm bleeding from the inside out...

I look down upon my bleeding wrists from the box cutter to my right; lying helplessly on the cold floor where my beating heart should be. The thought almost makes me want to laugh. My body feels so weak that my head tilts lazily to the right, my neck exposed to the cool air in the bathroom while my teal colored hair falls to the side as well.

Licking my lips, lately there hasn't been anything to satisfy myself with. I mean.. I'll just cut my wrist again. For the fifth time this week and my fucking best friend doesn't even realize it. We live in the same house and he doesn't even care.. Do I want him to care.

Great, I just made myself care.

Without realizing it, a tear from my right eye streaks down in a lonely run for my jaw.

"Mother.. What shall I do while I sit on this stupid floor, thinking of his stupid face and his stupid-ness?!" I wonder, my mother died a long time ago so I have little idea why I brought her up.

"Father... I'm not the son you wanted so much, I died before I was able to live.." My eyes flutter shut and I search blindly for the box cutter and my other hand goes for the pills.

Did I mention I'm drinking a 2'6 bottle of wiser to myself? No. Will I am. Because I'm bored and I'm allowed to.

I open the cabinet door with my foot and there is a bottle that hasn't been opened yet, I reach over and grab it, then I close the door. Leaning back against the wall, I open the bottle and take one of the pills into my mouth and bring the bottle to my lips. I close my eyes at the same time as I tilt it back and the cool liquid blurs my senses for just a moment.

The alcohol burns my throat, but at the moment I don't want the intensity to leave me so I continue drinking. Then suddenly, and strangely the bottle isn't in my hands anymore and some of the alcohol had spilled on my shirt and shorts.

I see a very angry blond standing next at the bathroom door with the bottle in his hand, he's gritting his teeth and even though I can't see his eyes. I can still till he's angry.

"What the fuck are you doing Fran!?" He yells, and I'm pretty sure if he continues he's going to wake someone up. Notably Squalo-senpai and boss.

I don't say anything. I don't know what to say to him about what I'm doing, but I'm pretty sure if he looks around he will figure it out. Maybe he'll understand, maybe just a little he'll watch me die. I mean, he keeps talking about killing me when I piss him off, now here is his chance!

"Hello Bel-senpai!" I manage to say. Bel slams the bottle down on the counter next to the sink, he grabs two white towels from the cupboard and turns the facet on, he wets the cloth and brings it to my arm.

"Are you trying to kill yourself?" He hisses.

"I don't think this is the right time to be honest," I tell him, ignoring the sweet pressure he's placing on my bleeding wrists. I hear the slight sound of the bottle of pills, turning my head to the left to see the pills on the floor - faced down.

"Just answer the fucking question!"

Rolling my eyes. "No."

I hear him grunt at my answer, he takes the cloth away from my wrists and I see him counting the cuts I have inflicted on my skin. I think I remember 9 on my right wrist and maybe five on the left. It could be more. I don't know.

"You better not be fucking lying to me. Why are there a bottle of painkillers on the floor, have you been going through the medical cabinet?" I close my eyes and try to ignore him, his yelling is extremely annoying. I haven't been able to sleep for the past week so I'm tired right now.

"Froggy!" I open my eyes just the slightest and look at him, except he isn't looking at me but at my wounds.

"No."

He snaps his head up, gritting his teeth angrily. "Are you fucking kidding me! You're trying to kill yourself, Fran!"

"No I'm not. I just want to sleep for a while," I honestly say. Then I see his expression soften, maybe he realizes that I'm telling the truth. Or maybe he just feels pity for his house mate.

"Don't take any pills, Fran.."

I smile.. I think. Yeah, I smile cause his words sound almost sincere, but I know he's just joking. I mean someone could have sent him up here, or maybe he's not really here and I'm just sleeping right now. Yeah, that makes sense.

I'm sleeping, dreaming, having a terrible nightmare of the one person I don't want to have.

With the last of my strength, before I close my eyes I say the words I always wanted to say to him for the past few weeks. My heart wants me to say it, to feel it, to hurt him like he hurt me.

"You know what.. Fuck you."

Then I drift off into sleep... Or into death.

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**To Be Continued.**

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**[Author Notes]**

**Uh. Sorry, I'm little depressed, I haven't written any new updates for the other stories that I have posted. And this one popped up suddenly.. Out of no where.**

**It might be bad. :\**

**Green day is one of my favorite bands! :)**

**Reviews are appreciated please. No flames or bashing please.**


	2. Chapter 2

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I awoke inside my dim lit bedroom, lying on my bed with the warmth of my blankets surrounding my weak body. I'm sore, I feel a little broken like a dismantled doll. My eye lids feel weaker, so I close them shut and try my hardest to calm my thoughts and the beating of my heart that is so loud in this silent room.

I lick my chapped lips, and move my arms slowly then I stop and my hand rests on some fabric that's wrapped around my right wrist. The memory came back in flashes. I was upset, on the edge of slowly wanting to drink my problems away until Belphegor showed up.

There was mixed feelings on his arrival last night. I didn't want him there to save me, I was mad enough that he was with someone else besides me. All that anger turned to sadness, and it destroyed apart of me. Now I won't be able to get that part of myself back. It's gone and I felt wrecked because of it. Sore, numb, like there was really nothing there in the first place.

The creak of the door makes me open my eyes, the light outside of my bedroom points inwards. Belphegor stands at in the open doorway, holding a tray of medicine and water. He closes the door without saying anything and walks closer to where I am.

"Time to take your daily dose of anti-depressants," He says a little enthusiastically. I grab some of the blankets in my fist and bring it to my face and let out a groan.

"Go away!"

His murderous chuckle reaches my ears and I can feel his hand nudging my head. "Come on Froggy, don't be like that. Just sit up and swallow the pill and water.. Easy."

I move the blankets from my face and glare at him, "Easy! Eating pills that change my mood isn't easy! It's disgusting, hurtful and at the end of the day I have no idea how to feel anymore!" Suddenly I was sitting up and Bel's smirking at me as if he caught me in a bad joke.

"Stop complaining and just take the pill, you're already sat up."

I furrow my brows and open my mouth while he placed the pill on my tongue, I took the glass of water in my hand and drank it until it was gone. I gave it back and he gathered the pill bottle and glass on the tray and left the room with nothing else to say.

I was again, sitting in the dark. I opened my mouth and spit out the pill into my hand. I tucked it inside my pillow case and laid back down. I brought the blankets back up underneath my chin and I closed my eyes, then when I thought everything was going to end up in darkness; instead I can hear the faintest sounds of glass smashing a floor up.

The third floor belongs to the boss. Xanxus must be pissed off at the servants again or maybe he and Squalo are going at it with their legendary arguments. The sharp sounds of thumping are coming from down the hall, then suddenly the flash of light from the hallway blinds me temporarily and I can hear the door slamming shut.

Then suddenly while I'm blinking my eyes to get my night vision back, someone had already jumped in bed with me and are under the blankets, cuddling up to my side. A stifle of laughter could be heard easily, I looked down and found a patch of golden blond hair.

"Bel-senpai, what are you doing?"

He pokes his head out from under the covers and smiles sheepishly at me. "Hiding, what does it look like!"

I don't hear anything else, and no one's yelling so I have little idea who he's hiding from.

"Never thought you'd be scared of someone, Bel-senpai." I feel the familiar sharp blades of his stab into my side, using my powers to take the pain away and block the tip of the blades from entering any deeper, I grab his wrist and I easily pulled the blades out.

"I'm not scared, it's just fun this way," He tells me and he retracts the entire blade from my side. I grunt at the pressure and move an inch away from him.

"I see. Go hide somewhere else, I'm busy."

He snorts, "Busy doing what? Being the emo baby you are."

I feel a little offended being called emo, "I'm tired."

"My ass you're tired. You just woke up, stop acting like that.." He grabs my wrist. "And come play with me!" Then I'm erratically pulled out of the bed and I land on the floor. Bel, being the so called genius he is rolled before I could land on him.

"Shishishishi~ Stupid frog, get up and let's go."

Groaning, I rolled over and crawled until I was two feet away from the bed and I stood up. Feeling my sides and arms crack from being in a different position, stretching my arms outwards and letting my muscles smooth out until I felt relaxed.

Bel gives me a childish thumbs up and he creaks the door open until it was a slit. Peeking out while I waited almost impatiently behind him, he waves his hand he sneaks out like some kind of ninja. I don't follow along, I walk out like normal and close the door.

I watch him look everywhere for the person whom he was hiding from. Sighing, I knew my day was going to end up eccentric and mysteriously murderous. By the end of the day, I'm going to either end up drunk or running from the cops because Bel-senpai can't stop killing people.

"Bel-senpai, can I please go back to my bedroom," I asked him, letting my arms slack at my sides.

He instantly looks back, "No, today you should be grateful to be in a prince's presence and to spend a day with one, like myself."

Rolling my eyes at his conceited nature. "I'd rather shoot myself in the head," I quietly said to myself, then I felt the stinging pains of his knifes sticking to the side of my left shoulder.

Gritting my teeth, I reached up to one of the blades and pulled it out. Then I grabbed the others and bent all three in my hand and dropped them on the floor, Bel didn't exactly like what I did.

"Fucking Toad!" He let out an angry growl, "I keep telling you not to bend my knives," Bel turned and continued walking towards the staircase. I watched him as he descended and when his patch of blond hair disappeared from my view, I felt my shoulders relax a little.

There was always a time when Bel got angry and when that happened it was either he was being mocked by the enemy, or his knives are bent. I knew not to fuel his anger when he got mad, it was a simple death wish if I tried, Bel wasn't like himself when he got too angry and I should know.

I've been the psychotic prince's partner for about a few years, I've seen him kill people and act like psycho. And right now, I knew where this was going and where I was going.

With a sigh, I descended the stairs and joined him in the living room where he was yelling at Levi about something.

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**To Be Continued.**

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**[Authors Notes]**

Yes, I'm depressed. :\ I'm not self-diagnosed, I've been diagnosed by a psychiatrist. -_-

I'm trying to update some of my work, and trying to continue with Broken Dreams. I really do like Bel and Fran, they're relationship is very hilarious and easily written. :)

This chapter.. Will I do like and I don't. :P

Uh. Yeah. Thanks for the reviews btw and the favorites.

**Reviews are appreciated. No flames or bashing please.**


	3. Chapter 3

_'I'm not going to lie, you're look dangerous.' _

_- Evans Blue - Look._

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I watched him jump up and down like a child, yelling out loud for attention. Levi told him to settle down, but right away he was hit with Bel-senpai's knives, and Lussaria didn't bother trying to calm him down. Instead he looked in my direction and I felt betrayed that he would make me step on the land mine.

With a huff, I walked over to Bel-senpai and slapped him in the back of the head. Silence rung and Bel's body tensed up at the action I just committed. He turned his head and I could hear him growling like a wild dog, I knew what he going to do and before I could react, he did instead.

Gripping my wrist where the bandage was, I bit down on my lip hard as he dragged me from the living room and down the hall towards the dining area. When he knew we were alone, he roughly pushed me up against the wall, both his hands were placed on both sides of my head.

"You always have to ruin my fucking buzz," He growled again, his eyes unseen even how close I was to him and his breathe warm against my face.

I swallowed the spit that gathered inside my mouth, a little hesitant to speak but I opened my mouth anyway. "What buzz, Bel-senpai? All you were doing was complaining like a spoiled brat."

Bel stayed completely still then he pulled away, "Go wrap up your arm again, your wounds have reopened." With that, he left towards the kitchen and I stayed where I was. I leaned my head back against the wall and felt with my hand for my other hand where I touched the bandage that hid the scars.

The white bandage felt wet, matte with blood and the wound burned when I pressed down against it with my finger tips. Hissing at the pain, I panted and looked down at the wound, I was feeling light headed as I began to unwrap the bandage.

"What else is going to go wrong?" I ask myself, and before I knew it Bel-senpai came back with a bottle of alcohol. He was smirking mischievously, he reached for my wrist and gripped it hard and before I could do anything he poured the liquid onto my open scars.

A white flash of pain coursed through me, I let out a shriek and pulled his grip from my wrist and fell back hard against the wall. I gritted my teeth so I wouldn't have to feel anymore pain, but it was too much and I could hear the faint laughter of my sick senpai leaving me again.

I slid down the wall and on the floor, placing pressure on my bleeding scars that oozed out blood and temporarily stained my skin. And for that split moment I can feel euphoria running through my veins, I tightly closed my eyes, letting my shoulders relax then a tear ran down my cheek.

"What the hell are you doing?" I opened my eyes, I instinctively followed where the voice had come from. Only to see Xanxus standing on the staircase with a empty large wine glass in his hand. He was glaring like usual, he turned his head towards the living room area.

"Someone come over here, this trash is bleeding on the mahogany floor, clean him up!" He descended the floor and I could hear thumping of someone running towards me. I looked up to see Lussaria, he gaped in surprise.

"Oh dear. Fran what happened? Did your scars reopen? And why is there alcohol here?" He immediately bent down onto his knees where he reached for my wrist. I let him untangle my fingers and pull my hand from the wound, sticky blood like thin spider threads stuck to my hand and my wrist, ripping apart as they were separated.

I placed my bloodied hand on my side while Lussaria examined the open scars. I remembered cutting open the skin and watching as the blood rose to the surface and seep down my arm, a stream like a thick river stopped in my palm.

Lussaria closed his eyes and used a sort of magic that was only custom for his element. He was light, and he healed the team whenever an injury occurred. At times Xanxus wouldn't even let him go on some missions with the rest of the Varia, just to make it harder and more gruesome.

"Almost healed," He murmured. I hadn't realized that Levi was standing three feet from us, staring and smiling as he got something out of this. Levi had some sort of hatred for me, every time he was at my throat, more times than senpai was.

I gazed somewhere else just so when I passed out, he wasn't the last person I saw. The small light around my wrist slowly disappeared from sight, only the darkness inked itself in my vision. A smile rose on Lussaria's face, a beaming smile as he gripped the bleeding wrist that was no longer bleeding or in any pain, and lifted me from the floor.

I felt a bit lightheaded but alright at the same time.

"Thanks," I said in a stoic voice, the sound of my voice was harsh that made me cringe and feel the slightest tinge of guilt. However, Lussaria saw past my hard exterior and understood what I meant.

"It's alright Franny," He patted my shoulder and gave me a genuine smile.

I smiled back and figured then that it was time to straighten things out, I left Lussaria's side and headed for the kitchen. I was a little pissed off and at the same time relieved. The feeling was never going anywhere unless I figure out how to destroy it. So when I entered the kitchen and found Bel-senpai sitting at the island in the middle of the kitchen with a bucket of ice-cream in his hands, the same everlasting smirk only made my heart race faster.

"How do you like your daily cutting, Fran?" Bel asked, his tongue darting out to lick the sweet pink bits of ice-cream that stuck to his lips.

Biting down on my teeth, I couldn't really help but roll my eyes at his innocent act. "Quit acting discreet, it was because of you my scars reopened."

Bel chuckled, pointing his metal spoon in my direction, "If you took your damn pills, then you wouldn't have any scars to reopen!"

Shaking my head, I sat down next to him and watched him eat his ice-cream, and in the silence Bel-senpai finally stopped and looked straight at me, well I think since his bangs covered his eyes.

"Is there something you wanted Froggy?"

I tilted my head slightly to my right side and let out a soft sigh, "Yeah, actually there is something I want from you Bel-senpai. Let's go get drunk."

Bel thrown his head back and laughed as if I said something hilarious, I couldn't really help but pout while he laughed. When he finally contained his laughter, his left hand holding his stomach. He looked at me again with a wider smile.

"No way am I going to drink with you. Remember the last time we went out drinking, you ended up in the hospital for almost jumping off a bridge." Too be honest, I have little idea what he was talking about. I was pretty much plastered the night we went out drinking which was a few months ago, and that's when the Varia learned I was mildly depressed, the doctors prescribed me with anti-depressants and life went on.

I clicked my tongue, "I was drunk.. It's not like I was going to jump." I rubbed my hands together, and felt this strange overwhelming sadness running through my chest as I tried to remember that certain night.

Bel went back to eating his ice-cream, "I don't really care what your excuse is, but the answer is no. So, instead let's do something else more appealing."

I let out an exhausted sigh, I glanced down at my fingers that were stretched outwards and the palms and fingertips were almost touching, but I could see I was shaking from not eating and sleeping. My ears twitched from the sound of slurping, Bel licked and breathed and sighed as he brought every mouthful of ice-cream into his mouth, inviting it tastefully and possessively, he knew it was his and his alone.

Maybe that's where the sadness that beckoned my suicidal tendencies.

With a twitch of the corner of my lips, I tilt my head to the left so I could see more of Bel. The thoughts of Bel were atrocious, demanding and succulent.

"What's do you want to do then?" I asked placidly.

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**To Be continued.**

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**[Author's Notes]**

I think most people whom are depressed are secretly suicidal, but never actually commit it unless they are thoroughly provoked.

I was diagnosed with depression when I was 13, I'm now 18 about to turn 19 in Nov. thing is, I usually let my depression help me write out stories, but lately there wasn't any motivation to type anything out. I had little idea on what I was typing for Fanfiction. But thanks for asking me about it, and stuff. :)

I'm fine. I'm taking anti-depressant pills for my depression, it doesn't really work but oh wells. I hope you girls/guys like this chapter.

I wanted to upload this chapter for the past two days, but I didn't have it all typed down until today. :)

**Reviews are appreciated. No flames or bashing please. :)**


	4. Chapter 4

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There was something rather suspicious inside the green eyes that belonged to the monotonous boy in front of Bel. The very sight of those keen eyes made him shudder, his emotionless expression that never moved into any other emotion made Fran a lot more harder to read.

All the time Bel has to make something up, or lie just to keep himself composed before Fran. If he doesn't, then he won't know what would happen. Fran would know of course, that something was up and he would undoubtedly make fun of him for it.

A flicker of hope flashed inside his mind at the perfect distraction - at least until he can breathe a bit. "Shopping. The prince needs new clothes," Bel raised his hand that held the spoon into the air. Fran rolled his eyes at his senpai and waved his hand gently then letting it fall to his side.

"Sure, sure. Let's go shopping, I need some clothes anyway," Fran turned around on the stool and plopped his feet on the floor, stretching his arms outwards only to be rewarded by a few cracks of his stiff muscles. With a light sigh of relief he headed for the exit.

"I'm going to get my money from my room, I'll be right back senpai," Fran called out as he left the kitchen, leaving Bel whom was still casually eating his ice-cream, even though there was barely nothing left inside the bucket.

Bel let out an anguish sigh as he pushed the bucket away from him, dropping the spoon on the table and letting himself relax. The very tension of having Fran so close was uncomfortable, more uncomfortable than usual.

There was an ache of pain in his chest, he remembered what he had done to Fran not too long ago and wanted to regret ever doing it. But at times he moved on impulse and his impulses wanted Fran to suffer. The bottle of liquor pouring over the exposed wounds on Fran's arm was succulent and enticing, he couldn't help that he wanted to hurt him. He couldn't help but want to hear the rare shriek of pain escaping those pale pink lips of his stupid kohai.

Bel had this uncontrollable need to peel back Fran's mask, to see the pain on his face, to see his eyes water. On rare occasions when he didn't have the impulse, there was this dark sinister feeling of wanting to stop Fran from hurting himself. How can he when he usually throws knives at him, and harshly berate him for his stupidity.

It was like last night when Fran was cutting himself, when he was on a trip for suicide. Bel knew, at first there was no stopping Fran whenever he put his mind to it. But self-destructing was the least of his worries, using pain killers and the alcohol that Squalo locks up in the pantry to release the pain, he could talk with someone, like Lussaria for instance.

This phase of his has been going on for the past five months, sure everyone in the Varia knew about it, but no one had the decency to actually stop him since Fran isn't the type to commit suicide.

No one even knew what was making him so depressed that he needed to drink himself drunk, and to harm himself every once in awhile. When he does cut himself, it's usually deep, so deep that Lussaria has to heal Fran so he doesn't bleed out and die. And maybe Fran knows that and that's why he keeps on doing it. Someday the boss is going to order Lussaria not to heal him and Fran's just going to end up on the floor, dying in his anguish. Then what? Who's going to save him?

...

"Bel-senpai.."

Bel's breathe hitched as he looked up to see Fran in front of him, already wearing his black Varia jacket. He didn't realize he was sitting on the stool since Fran left to get his money, that all he was thinking about was Fran.

This was troubling.

"We should bring Lussaria with us, or maybe loud mouth Squalo," Bel suggested earnestly as he hopped off the stool and headed down the hallway, Fran right behind him.

"What about Mammon, what if she wants to come too..." Fran wondered, his voice strained from the very thought of the purple haired girl upstairs counting her money.

Bel shook his head at the thought of bringing Mammon, "Nah. All she'll do is go to the casino and we'll never get her to come home."

"We could leave her there.." Fran muttered, hoping his senpai didn't here that.

Bel bit his lip at his kohai's comment, knowing both of them would have left her there anyway if she did come. They walked into the living room and found Squalo, Levi and Lussaria still sitting on the couch watching TV.

"Hey, any of you peasants want to come with me and the toad shopping?" Bel asked, placing his right hand on his hip as he looked at the others who didn't even glance his way. Fran groaned at the name Bel called him, but ignored it and stared at the others.

Lussaria hummed, contemplating while Levi shook his head, Squalo grudgingly nodded.

"Sure, why not. I need to get some supplies anyway, Levi watch the fort til we get home," Squalo stood up, grabbing Lussaria by the shoulder and pulling him on his feet.

"Let's go, we need to watch the kids, you know how Bel gets when he goes outside, and Fran's on suicide watch."

Bel stuck his tongue out, pulling out a sharp knife. "Thanks mom!" Bel mocked, pushing Fran towards the front door.

"VOII! Fuck you Bel, I'm no mother!"

Lussaria wiped a fake tear from his eye, "You're more a mother than I."

Squalo shot him a hard glare, "Do you want to go or not!?"

Lussaria waved his hand, "Calm down Squalo-dear." He headed after the two teens while Squalo slammed his sword against the wall, making a large long indent in the wall.

"Fuuccckk! I hate you all!"

"Let's go!" Lussaria called out, running out the front door after Bel and Fran who jumped into the black limo that pulled up in front of the house.

Squalo sighed and stomped his foot until he got to the limo. Glaring at everyone in the car while it pulled out and drove down the street.

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**To Be Continued.**

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**[Author's Notes]**

When I wrote Squalo's sword... Lmfao... It wasn't pure thinking. :P

- I want to express more of Bel's insecurities, hopefully that'll be in the next chapter or some other chapter. :)

** - **The mahogany part, I also thought of the Hunger Games. xD I don't even know if Bel likes strawberry ice-cream, I got the idea off of one of these fanfics. I think it was _Hormone Killers. -Dirkje. _Yeah. Lol. Thanks for reading and reviewing.

**Reviews are appreciated. No flames or bashing please.**


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